Playing catch-up.

Sunday June 30, 2024 -Anapoima, Colombia-

Stubborn. Best way to describe me when it comes to this blog. At first, before leaving home, I had wanted to bring my laptop but my bride thought that was silly. She was bringing her computer, so why bring mine? She offered me to use hers if I needed. But, we’re here now and several times when I’ve wanted to write, she has been busy on the computer. So I became accustomed to using my iPad. But if I don’t frequently hit save, I’m really pushing my luck. If I accidentally rotated or let it timeout…I lose everything typed all the way to the last time I saved. The lateness of the last post is a perfect example. The ice cream story, I bet I typed, or restarted it, 5 or 6 times. Each time the details of the story suffered. The first one, in my opinion, was waaaay more funny than what I posted. And as I typed now? Claudia’s computer is sitting unused! Stubborn!!!

Hit save! Ok, done!

It was another hot and humid day again. I’m not complaining, this place is beautiful. It’s our first time on this region and following some of the blogs of other families, they’ve been very bored here. Some of this may be our home selection. We’ve had a great time here…but I digress.

We decided to go for a walk today and venture down the street. It’s not a leisurely stroll you’re picturing in your minds. Keep in mind that we are actually in the mountains. The “down the street” is literally DOWN. The grade is very steep to begin. But before we left, I needed to get all geared up. That being said, let’s say hello to “The Soul Crusher”:

This 2024 model “Soul Crusher” (modeled in a soft shade of whisper grey color) is equipped with a special pouch to store what remaining pride, dignity, or manliness the owner/occupant still may have that could have survived even the suggestion of donning such an evil article of fatherhood.

*Author’s note: Any wife that insists on her spouse sporting this travesty should be prosecuted for human rights violations to the full extent of the law.

Installing a child into the soul crusher is no small feat. It’s as if a child, notably a male child senses a disturbance to natural order. There is a high amount of crying, screaming, & thrashing, almost as if his life depended on it. Yet overpowered by his betrayer, in this case his father, he settles into a shameful slump. Looking up at his betrayer, you can see the disdain within his eyes as he glared into the foolish man’s goon-ish smile for a selfie. Absolutely shameful behavior of this supposed father.

You know, I used to make sarcastic comments of people wearing similar devices. Who am I kidding, once I am paroled, I will continue my treacherous ways. But my comments would typically be, “look at that poor soulless man!”. Never really intended to be deragatory. More of an inner silent prayer of support and sympathy. I would see them at the airport , grocery store, sporting events, etc. All I could do is respectfully shake my head and look forward to the toddler years for the man in the device. Now I am that man!

We commenced with the walk. It started with a bang as the steps downward were a bit on the painful. From under the weight of the soul crusher, I reminded my beautiful wife that eventually, we would need to re-scale this mountain but in a worst case scenario, someone would have to get up the hill,get the car, and come back down to get me! I laughed but I think she was too tired of my “soul crusher “ commentary to see any humor.

There are some beautiful houses around here. Down towards the bottom of the hill, the terrain leveled off and I did get a few pictures.

Removed from the soul crusher as it was too hot and humid for that madness.

Squatting pickle doing picklish things.

Oh my! Look at those mangoes growing over the fence! We got permission from the caretakers to help ourselves. We now have mango overload

Kind of like the fence we’d like on our Colombian property someday. Also villa Mariana was too cool to pass up.

*This was the same house that had an arsenal of about ten dogs released on us as a warning to Not approach the gate. Not really “released” but maybe. I can just see Mr. Burns from the Simpson’s saying “Release the hounds!”

Yesterday was Sunday…therefore mass! We opted for evening mass for various reasons. That town was still nuts. Church was packed and sweaty! I dropped everyone off in front and went to park. Well in that time the spot they saved for me was lost so I stood at one of the side doors about 4 rows behind my family. All was well until I was spotted by a now 8-month old. Smiling, laughing, and flailing his hands around I assure you weren’t distracting to anyone. I may have enjoyed it. I too,this picture after the thrill was apparently gone. I still had to rescue mami at some point because he couldn’t handle me back there unsupervised. Little turd!

Spotted !

After mass we went for ice cream. Wonderful! However I have a complaint about Colombia. My daughter ordered a banana split. Seems reasonable right? (In my best Backstreet Boys karaoke)

“Tell me why” it came out with shredded cheese all over it? “Tell me why!” You’d put cheese on ice cream! “I’ve never heard anybody say , that they want it that way!”. The is a grotesque outrage and Colombia should be banned from ice cream imports immediately!