Name Changes?
So our Dossier is in Colombia! I don’t remember if I posted that in an earlier blog but that is the big news going on right now. They translate documents and review the package to determine whether or not we are eligible to adopt. This is all just part of the normal process but isn’t the purpose behind this post…
We received a packet from Madison, the adoption agency, that stated that we might be able to change the child’s name dependent on a few factors. Of course the last name of the child will change regardless but there may be situations where we might be able to change/add a name. Well, this set us back a little bit. Figuring that adopting an older child, changing names may be confusing for the child, we never really considered it.
This news gave us a new distraction from the waiting game that we are currently in. A name. How exciting and fun! Wait, how hard! This took us back to the fun and games we had picking names for Mariana & Santiago. Mariana specifically, she was our first so we could go through any process we wanted to picking a name. I remember a few Saturday mornings, we would get up and ride our bikes to our local favorite coffee shop in Eden Prairie. Sitting in the shop, shown below, there were times where we would just jot down names on a napkin and then argue.
Of course I am being a bit sarcastic when I say “argue” but we would debate the names. I would try to consider the obvious of what “nick-names” could be derived from a name because I am a child and that’s how my twisted brain works. But we had our little breakfast date and it was fun. In Mariana’s adoption journal, we have one of those napkins saved and right up in the middle of that napkin list is the name “Mariana”. Santiago’s name selection was very similar but now we had a 2-4 year old little girl tagging a long. She was asked what she thought about different names but I do not recall her “adding” any names to the list. HIs list of names is also included in his journal.
In reality, I do think we gave this process more attention than we should. Sure, it was a fun exercise but I cannot believe how much weight was given to the first pictures we received of Mariana and Santiago. Have any of the two of you who are reading this blog ever thought about what “name your child looks like”? That entered into the ridiculous equation. So unlike biological parents who pick names well in advance to the birth of their children, we actually waited on our referrals with the pictures to determine if Santiago actually looked like a Santiago. Mariana’s name was pretty easy as her given name was very similar to the name we gave. But Santi’s was way off.
According to my Grandpa Ahlgrim, we actually got it wrong. My Grandpa struggled with Santiago’s name and would refer to him as “Tim”. Now anyone who knew my Grandpa knows that he would get tongue tied and mess up names of people or things. I would find it funny when he would talk about different makes or models of cars.
The one that comes to mind was the Mazda Munada (Miata). He just couldnt say it!
But after hearing the name “Tim” repeatedly I finally asked him “Who’s Tim?” and he looked at Santi. I said Grandpa, his name is Santi to which he said “Well, he looks like a Tim”. Who can argue with that? Even now, I will still call Santi “Tim” on occasion.
TODAY, thanks to technology, we are not using napkins. We have downloaded the AnyList app. There we have taken our lists to the digital realm. We share our lists and this week, I learned that my wife is critiquing the names I have on the list by CROSSING THEM OUT! I was at work and went to add a name only to find names I selected crossed out! Who does that?! No conversation, just deleting. She is truly wicked! But I did get even and cross one of her names off the list as well but that was more retaliatory than anything else. Below is our list of boys and girls names that we have thus far. It is our exercise in futility as all these names will fall apart when we get our referral only to learn that our child doesn’t look like any name on that list.
